Things no one old me about getting older

1. Pimples are not an affliction restricted only for teens.
2. Cholesterol and osteoporosis
3. Dying your hair becomes more a necessity rather than a fashion statement
4. And if you wanted to go grey, it won't come in in any attractive streaks
5. You think about a good night's sleep the way you used to think about getting wasted or some gorgeous but utterly unavailable guy
6. You won't use Grade 12 Algebra...ever
7. Cleaning up after a party is prep work for picking up your kids' toys every day
8. Chin hair
9. You won't flinch when having to clean vomit or other bodily fluids once you have kids
10. You'll need to find time to read
11. Bubble baths are a luxury
12. A moment on the lips is truly a lifetime on your hips

And I know there's still waaay more I have yet to learn.

I bet if this guy knew how his life would turn out...