When you see your kid's school on Call Display, you kind of don't want to answer because, nine times out of ten, it isn't good news.

Yesterday, I received one such call from the school principal.

"There was an altercation in the playground with Middle Child. He and his buddy were trying to get in on a basketball game with the more athletic boys in his class. Anyway, they didn't want any new players and that somehow escalated to one boy announcing, 'Let's attack Middle Child.' He was caught and another boy spat in his mouth."

Ew. And oh!

"So, Jennifer, I'm calling for two reasons. One, Middle Child has calmed down some. He spent the remainder of the lunch hour with his teacher in the staff room, but as he knows more about bacteria and viruses than the average 6-year-old, he was really, uh, grossed out. We have some anti-bacterial mouthwash. It contains alcohol. May we have permission to let him gargle?"

He could drink the whole bottle, as far as I was concerned.

"Secondly, he hasn't mentioned anything but do you think it would help if you came by the school to give him a hug?"

If it were Daughter, I'd already have my coat on, but Middle Child would be mortified if I pulled him out of class. I mean, when I'm in the school tutoring other children, he doesn't even acknowledge me! No, I think it is best that I stay home. If he can't settle down in class, then give me a call and I'll come by.

I spoke with his teacher after school. She was dry heaving while she was telling me. Anyway, he settled in and seemed comforted to have that bottle of mouthwash at the secretary's desk if he needed more, she said. But the whole incident ruined her day. She explained that after giving the kids a piece of her mind, she was so put off by the whole thing that she scrapped her plans to do something all Eastery with them. Thankfully, no one knew of these plans. As if Middle Child doesn't feel ostracized enough, imagine if the others knew he was part of the reason why the class didn't get treats or do a fun craft?

It was report card week. Daughter did excellently. Mostly As with big improvements in math (two As and a B+). Middle Child got A+s all the way through ... except gym and drama/dance. And in the "Learning Skills" section, he only got a "satisfactory" in the "patience with other students" section.