My Ersatz Homemade BodyPump Tracklist

I know the stuff my mother says comes from total care and concern; a really good place in the heart and mind. Like yesterday, when I told her that I plan to go to the gym on vacation, she got all freaked. "Don't you be going there first thing in the morning like you do when you're home. You don't know who's in there lurking behind a treadmill or something."

As a reporter for a large daily newspaper in Toronto, I was sent out countless times in the wee hours of the night to get man-on-the-street reports on shit like gang violence and crack houses. And they didn't send me out to Rosedale either. No way. We're talking Parliament and Gerrard, Chinatown alleys, Regent Fucking Eww-Eww-Eww Park.

And my sweet mother is worried about middle-aged guys on a cruiseship?

I go to the gym at the crack of dawn at home because that's the only time I have to myself. Whether I do that when I'm on vacation is still up in the air. But I do totally intend to hit the gym every day (or so).

My workout depends almost entirely on people barking orders. I really need the classes or else I get lazy. I can probably get on an elliptical trainer and cardio out on my own, but for muscle conditioning, I can only do the BodyPump class. I've been at that for about 18 months, so I'm pretty good at it and have the choreography down for the most part. Some of the music sucks (call me old, but Trance is boring), but I figured out what is looked for in a song they choose for the classes.

So, I'll load my iPod with these and have a go at my very own BodyPump class:

Army of Me - Björk (warm-up)
Pump It Up - Elvis Costello (squats)
Love Shack - The B-52s (chest) (or Salt n' Pepa's Push It? I'm Not Dead by Pink?)
In Between Days - The Cure (back)
Take Your Mama Out - Scissor Sisters (triceps)
Pump It - Black Eyed Peas (biceps)
Castles In The Sky - Ian van Dahl (lunge - trance, I know, but I'm really good at this one in the class)
Sabotage - The Beastie Boys (shoulder)
Lose Yourself - Eminem (abs)
Bobcaygeon - The Tragically Hip (cool down and because I need some Canadiana while I'm away)

Kinda commercial, I know, and really old school but it's worth a shot. And some of these songs are from the class, too. But if you have any suggestions, let me know.