When you see your kid's school on Call Display, you kind of don't want to answer because, nine times out of ten, it isn't good news.

Yesterday, I received one such call from the school principal.

"There was an altercation in the playground with Middle Child. He and his buddy were trying to get in on a basketball game with the more athletic boys in his class. Anyway, they didn't want any new players and that somehow escalated to one boy announcing, 'Let's attack Middle Child.' He was caught and another boy spat in his mouth."

Ew. And oh!

"So, Jennifer, I'm calling for two reasons. One, Middle Child has calmed down some. He spent the remainder of the lunch hour with his teacher in the staff room, but as he knows more about bacteria and viruses than the average 6-year-old, he was really, uh, grossed out. We have some anti-bacterial mouthwash. It contains alcohol. May we have permission to let him gargle?"

He could drink the whole bottle, as far as I was concerned.

"Secondly, he hasn't mentioned anything but do you think it would help if you came by the school to give him a hug?"

If it were Daughter, I'd already have my coat on, but Middle Child would be mortified if I pulled him out of class. I mean, when I'm in the school tutoring other children, he doesn't even acknowledge me! No, I think it is best that I stay home. If he can't settle down in class, then give me a call and I'll come by.

I spoke with his teacher after school. She was dry heaving while she was telling me. Anyway, he settled in and seemed comforted to have that bottle of mouthwash at the secretary's desk if he needed more, she said. But the whole incident ruined her day. She explained that after giving the kids a piece of her mind, she was so put off by the whole thing that she scrapped her plans to do something all Eastery with them. Thankfully, no one knew of these plans. As if Middle Child doesn't feel ostracized enough, imagine if the others knew he was part of the reason why the class didn't get treats or do a fun craft?

It was report card week. Daughter did excellently. Mostly As with big improvements in math (two As and a B+). Middle Child got A+s all the way through ... except gym and drama/dance. And in the "Learning Skills" section, he only got a "satisfactory" in the "patience with other students" section.

Actions Have Consequences

Daughter got detention and Middle Child got a girlfriend.

Instead of bringing home her homework, Daughter dogged it and played at her friend's house (she said he had detention for the same reason. Hmmm). She finished her homework during detention and to add to her misery, I made her finish her nightly math question. The teacher gave her a sheet of 14 questions to be completed through the week. Instead of taking two questions a night, she did four earlier and that's that. Obviously, the whole thing needed to be done, but, gawd, the drama! And then there was the pull of Fairly Odd Parents and SpongeBob Squarepants playing just a littttle too loudly by the boys.

Your choices have consequences, I always tell her. Yesterday was another case in point.

I remind her to practice violin and do a little extra work every day when we're walking home from school. Does she do it? Not always.

So while I was getting a pencil for Daughter last night, I overheard Middle Child phoning his older (by two years) friend. "There's a girl in my class who likes me. What do I do?" I pulled him aside after and we talked about it.

He's flattered as can be but he's a little freaked out. "What if she wants me to kiss her?"

"Well, I think you're a little young to be kissing. You should ask her for a rain cheque for when you're 16, I think."

"Older Friend said I should give her something, like flowers or jewelry, but I don't want to. That's too romance, and I still want her as a friend and I don't want to make her sad. So I like the idea of giving her something, but what?"

So today, we packed an extra two cookies for the girl.

Funny thing is, she's one of those girls I'd be scared to date if I were a boy. She's the last-born child, the only daughter in a family of seven boys!

"Your shirt's on backward, Middle Child."

"Yeah because it's Backward Day at school. It's also Crazy Hair Day."

"Oh, too bad I didn't know before. I could have got something together for you."

So, I gelled his hair spiky at the top.

"It's not crazy enough, Mom."

So I hairsprayed the sides too.

"Still not crazy enough. How about some colour?"

Argh. Colour. What could I use? I decided on food colouring, so I put a few drops in and rubbed. And now I can't get it off my hands! Suggestions are very welcomed.