Male Cats Eat Their Young

To get us out of the house (school was cancelled) and, perhaps, to address my husband's crazy love for pasta, we decided to pack up the kids and go to the next city 25 minutes away for dinner.

Middle Child loved East Side Mario's the last time we went. I think he just dug the little loaf of bread they give you as an appetizer. Anyway, we went there thinking it would make him happy.

But you never know with Middle Child...

We got there and he became all sullen. He refused to open his eyes and walk from the car to the restaurant, so I carried him. When we got our booth, I put him down and told him he could slide over and sit by the window. Instead, he fell face first (on purpose for dramatic effect) into the polyurethane seat and starting this moaning cry, "Eah, eah."

"What's wrong?"

"Eah. Eah. Eah."

I gently slid him over to the wall, took Baby Boy from my husband and put him in the high chair. Husband then propped Middle Child up so he could take a seat beside him. We ordered and figured the boy would stop once the beloved bread came.

Nope.

We tried reasoning with him. We asked, and then told, him to stop. Waiters started to come by to see what was the problem, some plying him with candy. Daughter knocked over her water all over her jeans so I took her to the bathroom. When we got back, my husband said, "Put my food in a doggie bag," got up, throwing Middle Child over his shoulders and they sat in the car while Daughter, Baby Boy and I had a rather nice dinner...until at the end when Daughter decided to count very loud and exaggerated and Baby Boy crapped his diaper something fierce.

We got home at 7:15 when I put pyjamas on the kids, had Daughter read us all a story and turned off the lights (interrupted once by a phone call from my dad who, in typical fashion, implored me not to pay my water bill this month. Dad's all about stickin' it to The Man).

Husband was so upset, he couldn't even eat chips during The Amazing Race. I just left him to get lost in the program while I went around to flush out our water pipes (we're now under a "boil water" advisory).

Thankfully, there's school today.