Whom is Your Ideal TV Husband?

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I get Dr. McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy.

What can I say? I come by my love of examining gloves with the best of intentions.

Look, Mum! A Skeleton!

Having my mother over wasn't too bad. Sure, she rearranged everything in my kitchen (and I put everything back yesterday, thanks). Sure, she criticized most everything I wore. But she did make her awesome soups every single day, which made the kids (and Husband) so incredibly happy. It was also wonderful to have an extra adult to take care of one kid while I was off with another. It was like being two places at once.

"Why are all the grandmothers we know the cookers? Why aren't the grandfathers?" Daughter asked this morning.

"Because grandfathers are old and in the olden days, boys weren't taught to cook. That's why our grandmothers always cook for our grandfathers," replied Middle Child.

And then...

"But what about Gramma? She never had someone like a husband," reflected Middle Child.

So I reminded the kids that once, a long, long time ago, Gramma and Granddad were married and lived together.

"I keep forgetting that because there's no pictures of them together with Daddy and his brothers," shrugged off Daughter. Honey, I'm sure there was but it got destroyed.

And then...

"But who is the guy with the glasses holding Gramma's hand in the pictures of your wedding, Mummy?"

"That's Gramma's second husband."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaa???!!!!" the kids said in unison.

"Er, yeah, Gramma has been married two times."

"Did Daddy know the second husband?"

"Of course, he did. And so did I. He taught Dad how to drive, how to shave, all kind of dad things. And your Dad and your uncles liked him very much."

"So why did Gramma get divorced TWO times?"

I gave them a short answer, something about them fighting all the time. One day, I'll tell them the long story, which they need to know but just not right now. Maybe then I'll also tell them that Granddad was married and divorced twice too.

How Would a Canadian Chef Plate Maltese Food?

bragoli
Originally uploaded by Nimcheena.

Apparently, like this.

I went to a local restaurant, which was featuring Maltese food, and ordered bragoli. Really, it was the only authentic dish on the menu; the rest were just recipes using commonly found Maltese ingredients (like the tuna steaks in blood orange sauce that my mother ordered).

The bragoli was terrific. You would have thought someone's nanna made it. I loved having it too because it takes so bloody long to prepare that I never make it. Basically it's a steak hammered thin and then rolled up and stuffed with ground beef, hard boiled egg, some herbs, and usually Maltese sausage called salzett but the restaurant used pancetta.

Best of all was spending the time with my mum alone. We used to go to the Eaton's restaurant at Sherway Gardens in Toronto every Saturday for high tea when I was in university.

Anyway, now I've been ordered to disinfect my fridge while she plays Star Wars with Baby Boy.

A Note From a Pro-Choice Fruit Fly Who Supports Stem Cell Research

My mum is visiting for a whole week.

Let the debates begin!

If I Were American, I'd Be in Court

So at the end of the day, UPS delivered a package full of Mexican and Indian food from the distributor.

I opened it and went, "Ugh." As much as I love Indian food, I'm leaning on Middle Sister's comment on not buying food canned in a third world country. Serves me right for being liberal.

Mind you, Husband's response to my reaction was, "Looks good to me!"

Eerily similar to the Maltese dad's adage, "If it's free, it's good to me!" This is what happens to nice eighth generation Canadian boys when they've been around my family for 20 years.

I still want to know what the company is doing about the bugs, though. Think I'll get an answer?

Gross-out Update

I did my research and found the Canadian distributor of the beans. I went through the proper channels and was given an email address by someone, the receptionist promised, "would take this very seriously."

So I wrote a nice but serious email and attached the photo.

The next day, I received an email back from the owner and president saying that he called Mexico immediately and is trying to sort out the problem. He apologized profusely and said he would get back to me.

I'm happy with that, but I'm still never buying that brand again.

Bugs in Refried Beans

Bugs in Refried Beans
Originally uploaded by Nimcheena.

It's times like this that I wish I could make myself barf.

Daughter skipped dinner yesterday. It was build your own vegetarian burrito night but she had a huge snack at a friend's. "Save me some and I'll make it for lunch tomorrow."

So, together, we got everything out of the fridge again. I microwaved everything and put it on the table.

"What are the black things in the refried beans, Mum?" Daughter asked as she was assembling her burrito.

"Yeah, I guess it's a new recipe," I replied. "I bet they're peppercorns."

Daughter isn't a fan of pepper so she started picking them out. "They're not peppercorns, Mum. They have legs."

I don't want to tell Husband or the boys but I strongly suggested they join me in a psyllium husk cocktail (which no one took me up on).

Maltese Food at Fellini's in Stratford, Ontario

If anyone is at all interested in coming to Stratford, Ontario during the week of September 18 - 24, for some unknown and, to me, completely unfathomable reason, the most excellent Fellini's Restaurant on Ontario Street will be featuring Maltese cuisine. It's part of a five-week promotion highlighting the best (!) in Mediterranean food.

Seriously, when asked where my family came from, the response to my answer has almost always been met with, "Where?" or "Like the falcon?" or, my favourite, "I love their chocolates!"

As my friend said, it could be great or it could be bad. Real. Bad. But I'm so piqued that this place would choose to highlight the pencil dot of an island my family is from. And as far as I know, there's only two Maltese in this town: myself and another mum from my kids' school. And, of course, we knew of each other before we met.

So with only two of us around, when I'm jonesing for some qaqqoc or aljotta and my mum or grandmother aren't around, I have to make it myself. Mind you, I make a mean hobz biz-zejt with some olive bread I buy from Ace Bakery.

Most of all, I think I'm looking forward to see how someone who isn't from Malta makes the food. What dishes will they choose, I wonder? And how would they plate a pastizzi?

But Ikea SWEARS it's a leg

Like they don't know two huge chunks of their clientele are women and gay men.

Ikea Catalogue and the Incredible Doggie Dink

I've had my copy of the 2007 Ikea catalogue for a number of weeks now. It ranks up there with books I can read again and again.

But today, Baby Sister alerted me to the inside front cover. She said it was all over the news.

I never noticed it before; all I saw was an image of the Virgin Mary in the gingham blinds.

Ian Has the Last Word on Shoelacing

The two older kids are chomping at the bit. They can't wait for school to start tomorrow.

I mentioned that to a few people, only to get the response, "Are they weird?" Okay, maybe they are a little, but I understand why they are excited. School for them is a huge part of their social selves.

Daughter has had her backpack filled for a couple of weeks now. Indoor shoes: check. Filled pencil case: check. Lunchbox with a container of non-perishable rice crackers and a peanut-free granola bar: check.

Middle Child, on the other hand, figures that I'll get everything ready for him tomorrow morning, and he's right. I got out his indoor shoes - very cool black low-cut Converse-ish ones with lots of Jolly Rogers all over - and had him show me that he remembered how to tie shoelaces. Oh, he can ... it just takes him about two minutes per shoe. I've been to their school at recess and that just won't cut it.

So I've replaced the black shoelaces with black elastic from my sewing-kit-of-wonders. Daughter thought it was sheer genius. Hell, I'll take the adulation because I have a very limited time until I will be incredibly uncool in her eyes.

Anyway, I didn't have a lot of elastic left, so I went online to see if there's a lacing method out there that could show me a way to lengthen the laces. People, Ian's Shoelace Site is all you will ever need regarding the subject. Parents and elementary school teachers, check out the "Ian knot" and thank me later.