Mmmm....Lamb of God! (part two)

We got home from the church as I was bringing out some buns and luncheon meats, Daughter came downstairs with a balloon for me to tie. A face was drawn heavily on it with marker. "Please don't play with this. Marker on balloons can rub ink on your dress. Try to stay clean until your great-grandma comes," I asked. I noticed marker was already on her fingertips, so I asked her to wash her hands and put away the marker. And off she went.

About 15 minutes later, I went up to the playroom where Daughter was playing with my niece. I wanted to see how the marker came off. Well, they both had more marker on their hands. That would happen when they had every balloon in the house covered with inky marker. Niece looks up and hides the marker behind her back while Daughter has her "oh shit" look on.

And there's ink on the front of her dress.

"I asked you not to play this game. I told you why you shouldn't. Did you not understand?" I was calm until I tried to get the marker out and then noticed that Niece was using a Sharpie. Permanent. "Oh, this is GREAT! All this week, I asked you to keep clean until your great-grandma saw you. That was all I asked. And now this." I put all the balloons in a laundry hamper and told them, "(Daughter), you can play with these tomorrow. (Niece), take half of these home. I'm putting them away now."

I got the dress off her and tried different things to hide the stain while I left the girls to wash their hands. The fact that they got marker on the bathroom countertop didn't escape me, but I picked my battle.

Down the stairs to my bedroom I went to tuck away the hamper of balloons. Niece followed me. "We're sorry, Auntie Jen," she said. "Fine," I sighed, "but I'm really angry and disappointed in both of you. Think before you do. Now go finish washing your hands the best you can and give me five minutes to cool down."

My mum came into the laundry room to help but after getting a nail brush to the stain, she took the dress from me and told me to give up. "I'll just dry the spot we tried to clean. Where's your hair dryer?" she asked. So I took her upstairs and got her set up. I passed by Daughter's bedroom when I heard Niece exclaim, "It's Auntie Jen!" and I saw Daughter slam her closet door.

Rolling my eyes, I walked in, opened the closet and there were all the balloons. "I said you weren't to play with these today. You didn't listen. You will be punished," I said completely calm and monotone. I grabbed a tack from the wall and popped them. Oh, did Daughter scream. And then dramatically, ran to the bathroom where my sisters went to calm her down, I assume. I gave myself a moment and then kicked everyone but Daughter out of the room.

I let her cry in the corner for as long as she needed while I sat on the bathtub edge. That wasn't even a minute. Then she sat on my lap and cried a little longer. When she calmed down, she apologized. "I'm sorry we took the balloons, Mummy." "Well, do you understand why I popped them?" "Because you told us not to play with them. I wish I listened because then I'd still have them." "Yup. I wish you listened from the start. First, I asked you to stay clean. 'Play Barbies or video games when your cousin arrives.' But you didn't. When I noticed that first balloon, I asked that you don't play that game because it would ruin your dress. But you didn't listen to me then either. Then when I saw you made even more balloons, I took them away and told you not to play with them today. Again, you didn't listen to me. I trusted you but you disappointed me over and over again."

So we had a good talk about rules and about responsibility. We hugged and came to a mutual agreement, in private because this was a family matter. All was right again between Daughter and I, and I gave her the family's gift. It was a necklace very similar to the one I wear every day. She loved it. Then she gave me her Mother's Day gift. It was a pair of shoes, identical to the ones she has. I cried tears of joy because of the sentiment.

The rest of the day went very well. The tandoori chicken and maple sausages went over big time; the sushi not so well, as I had assumed, but Husband was appreciative. And we have so much pastizzi left over but the kids are thrilled because they've had one in their lunches three times this week. In good conscience, I couldn't feed them one a day. Arterial sclerosis sucks.

Anyway, my mum called me the next day. "What a lovely day it turned out to be! The food was incredible and the weather really held out. But, I just want to say that you should apologize to (Daughter). Don't let her remember the day with you being angry. It should be solemn and holy." "Nope. I won't apologize. She was wrong," I said. My mum tried to convince me, even trying to pull rank. Don't play the "I'm older and have been through this" game with me. "She's my daughter and this is my family. I will discipline as I see fit because no one knows my kid better than me. Not even you."

Hard words, I know, but it was even more difficult to convince her that the issue was over between Daughter and me; not even worthy of discussing further because we said what we had to say in the bathroom. Lesson learned. End of story. I don't think she bought it and I'm sure she thinks I'm a failure as a parent. Okay, maybe not a failure, but perhaps that I'm doing everything wrong.

Whatever. I wish she was there when her friend K asked how the day went. Daughter said, "It was great, except that I got ink on my dress but at least it didn't happen before church. And best thing of all is I got the Over The Hedge XBox game!"

Amen.